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译网情深 » 列出所有讨论区 » » 讨论区: 【译网情深】 » » » 主题: 笑傲江湖-Proudly Stand Out in A Jianghu World |
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| 打印 2012-5-19 14:51:55 |
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| 文章作者 Becky2007 于 2007-9-4 17:40:30 |
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笑傲江湖-Proudly Stand Out in A Jianghu World 第一章 灭门 和风熏柳，花香醉人，正是南国春光漫烂季节。福建省福州府西门大街，青石板 路笔直的伸展出去，直通西门。一座建构宏伟的宅第之前，左右两座石坛中各竖一根两丈来高的旗杆，杆顶飘扬青旗。右首旗上黄色丝线绣着一头张牙舞爪、神态威猛的雄狮，旗子随风招展，显得雄狮更奕奕若生。雄狮头顶有一对黑丝线绣的蝙蝠展翅飞翔。左首旗上绣着“福威镖局”四个黑字，银钩铁划，刚劲非凡。大宅朱漆大门，门上茶杯大小的铜钉闪闪发光，门顶匾额写着“福威镖局”四个金漆大字，下面横书“总号”两个小字。进门处两排长凳，分坐着八名劲装结束的汉子，个个腰板笔挺，显出一股英悍之气。 Willow branches warm in breeze; people drunk for the fragrance of flowers--It’s the right time of a blossoming spring in the South. Following the dark stone board road straight forward, it was the West Gate of Fuzhou, a town of Fujian Province. On this so-called “West Gate”road, stood a splendid mansion, which is the Headquarter of "FU WEI Guard". Two ten-feet high flagpoles stood at each side of it. On the top of each pole there was a dark flag embroidered with a golden lion, lively flying in the wind. There were also two more black bats embroidered on the above of each lion’s head, and the name of “FU WEI Guard” in black letters on the left side flag. The mansion had its gate doors painted in vermeil with two copper knockers shining on them. Above the gate hang a large board, on which the“FU WEI Guard” together with a smaller “Headquarter” was painted in gold. Just inside the gate, eight guards in their Kungfu suit sat equally on two benches, upright and valiant. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 突然间后院马蹄声响，那八名汉子一齐站起，抢出大门。只见镖局西侧门中冲出五骑马来，沿着马道冲到大门之前。当先一匹马全身雪白，马勒脚镫都是烂银打就，鞍上一个锦衣少年，约莫十八九岁年纪，左肩上停着一头猎鹰，腰悬宝剑，背负长弓，泼喇喇纵马疾驰。身后跟随四骑，骑者一色青布短衣。一行五人驰到镖局门口，八名汉子中有三个齐声叫了起来：“少镖头又打猎去啦！”那少年哈哈一笑，马鞭在空中拍的一响，虚击声下，胯下白马昂首长嘶，在青石板大路上冲了出去。一名汉子叫道：“史镖头，今儿再抬头野猪回来，大伙儿好饱餐一顿。”那少年身后一名四十来岁的汉子笑道：“一条野猪尾巴少不了你的，可先别灌饱了黄汤。”众人大笑声中，五骑马早去得远了. All of a sudden, from the backyard came a burst of clip-clop, all of those eight guards stood up and dashed out. They saw five horses running out from the west side-door and stopped right in front of them. The lead was a horse as white as snow, both its bridle and stirrup were made from silver. On its back was sitting a glamorous boy, in his late tens, shouldering a falcon, in his middle wearing a sword, and a bow on the back. Following him were the other four, all in black hunting suit.‘ Our Young Master must be going hunting again!’people shouted from the crowd. Leaving only a “Ha-ha”, the teen boy whipped in the air, and run down the road. One from the eight guards raised his voice, ‘Bring another boar back, old Shi! Let’s have a feast tonight!’An elder man, in his forties, coming right after the white horse, replied with a smile,‘ The pigtail has your name on it! Don’t get damn drunk!’ The five hunters, in a guffaw, run far, far away. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 五骑马一出城门，少镖头林平之双腿轻轻一挟，白马四蹄翻腾，直抢出去，片刻之间，便将后面四骑远远抛离。他纵马上了山坡，放起猎鹰，从林中赶了一对黄兔出来。他取下背上长弓，从鞍旁箭袋中取出一支雕翎，弯弓搭箭，刷的一声响，一头黄兔应声而倒，待要再射时，另一头兔却钻入草丛中不见了。郑镖头纵马赶到，笑道：“少镖头，好箭！”只听得趟子手白二在左首林中叫道：“少镖头，快来，这里有野鸡！”林平之纵马过去，只见林中飞出一只雉鸡，林平之刷的一箭，那野鸡对正了从他头顶飞来，这一箭竟没射中。林平之急提马鞭向半空中抽去，劲力到处，波的一声响，将那野鸡打了下来，五色羽毛四散飞舞。五人齐声大笑。史镖头道：“少镖头这一鞭，别说野鸡，便大兀鹰也打下来了！”五人在林中追逐鸟兽，史、郑两名镖头和趟子手白二、陈七凑少镖头的兴，总是将 猎物赶到他身前，自己纵有良机，也不下手。打了两个多时辰，林平之又射了只兔子，两只雉鸡，只是没打到野猪和獐子之类的大兽，兴犹未足，说道：“咱们到前边山里再找找去。 As soon as Pingzhi Lin and his four followers came out of the town, the young master slightly clicked his Snowy with two legs letting it run ahead, and shortly leaving the other four far behind him. In the woods, Pingzhi Lin let go his falcon, flushing a pair of rabbits out. He took off his bow; loaded an arrow, and “swoosh”— shot one rabbit down. When trying to shoot the other, he only got time to see it disappear in the grass. At that point, one of his followers, Zheng, caught up. ‘Nice shot! Pingzhi!’said Zheng with a smile. ‘Come over here! There are pheasants!’ Pingzhi Lin heard Baier calling him from the left. On the way, a pheasant flew out. Pingzhi Lin quickly shot at it, yet missed. That pheasant then flew right towards his head. With no time, Pingzhi Lin raised his arm with all his energy, and horsewhipped the pheasant down. Brilliant feathers suddenly flew in the air.‘Way to go! Even a condor won’t be able to escape under our Young Master’s horsewhip!’said Shi. People burst into laughter. In order to please Pingzhi Lin, Shi, Zheng, Baier, and Chenqi flushed the prey all to him. Hours later, Pingzhi Lin hunted two more rabbits and two more pheasants, but no large beasts, like a boar or river deer. Far from being satisfied, Pingzhi Lin said to the others, ‘Let’s go to the front hill, and see what we can get there!’ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 史镖头心想：“这一进山，凭着少镖头的性儿，非到天色全黑决不肯罢手，咱们回去可又得听夫人的埋怨。”便道：“天快晚了，山里尖石多，莫要伤了白马的蹄子，赶明儿咱们起个早，再去打大野猪。”他知道不论说甚么话，都难劝得动这位任性的少镖头，但这匹白马他却宝爱异常，决不能让它稍有损伤。这匹大宛名驹，是林平之的外婆在洛阳重价觅来，两年前他十七岁生日时送给他的。 ” After hearing this, Shi thought to himself, ‘Once in the hill, it’s natural for Pingzhi to keep hunting until it is completely dark. Then when we are home, Mrs. Lin won’t give us an easy time.’So he replied, ‘It’s getting late! Those sharp stones in the hill might hurt Snowy’s feet. Why don’t we just get up early tomorrow, and go hunting the giant boars, eh?’Shi clearly knew that nothing he said might change the willful young master’s mind, unless mentioning some harm to his most treasurable white horse, which was an expensive gift bought by his grandmother two years ago for his 17th birthday. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 果然一听说怕伤马蹄，林平之便拍了拍马头，道：“我这小雪龙聪明得紧，决不会踏到尖石，不过你们这四匹马却怕不行。好，大伙儿都回去吧，可别摔破了陈七的屁股。”五人大笑声中，兜转马头。林平之纵马疾驰，却不沿原路回去，转而向北，疾驰一阵，这才尽兴，勒马缓缓而行。只见前面路旁挑出一个酒招子。郑镖头道：“少镖头，咱们去喝一杯怎么样？新鲜兔肉、野鸡肉，正好炒了下酒。”林平之笑道：“你跟我出来打猎是假，喝酒才是正经事。若不请你喝上个够，明儿便懒洋洋的不肯跟我出来了。”一勒马，飘身跃下马背，缓步走向酒肆。 As expected, Pingzhi Lin patted Snowy’s head and said,‘My little Snowy is definitely smart enough not to step on sharp stones, but yours may not be able. Alright, let’s head back then, so that we could save Chenqi’s ass!’Five of them, in a loud laughter, started turning back. Pingzhi Lin rode off at a gallop, and instead of taking the same path home, he headed north for a while before slowing his horse down to a walk. A little farther from him, there was barrel(a sign of alcohol) hanged out from the roadside. Zheng asked,‘Pingzhi, feel like a drink now? Nothing goes better with the wine than our fresh rabbit and pheasant meat!’Pingzhi Lin smiled,‘You were not out with me for hunting, were you? Drinking should be the business! If I don’t fill you up with wine today, it will be hard to drag you out next time!’Stopped the horse, Pingzhi Lin jumped down and walked in the eatery. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 若在往日，店主人老蔡早已抢出来接他手中马缰：“少镖头今儿打了这么多野味啊，当真箭法如神，当世少有！”这么奉承一番。但此刻来到店前，酒店中却静悄悄地，只见酒炉旁有个青衣少女，头束双鬟，插着两支荆钗，正在料理酒水，脸儿向里，也不转过身来。郑镖头叫道：“老蔡呢，怎么不出来牵马？”白二、陈七拉开长凳，用衣袖拂去灰尘，请林平之坐了。史郑二位镖头在下首相陪，两个趟子手另坐一席。内堂里咳嗽声响，走出一个白发老人来，说道：“客官请坐，喝酒么？”说的是北方口音。郑镖头道：“不喝酒，难道还喝茶？先打三斤竹叶青上来。老蔡哪里去啦？怎么？这酒店换了老板么？” Unlike usual, where the owner, Old Cai, would have already come out and taken over Pingzhi Lin’s horse flattering with compliments, like‘ So much quarry today!’‘ My Young Master’s shooting is awesome!’or ‘It’s hard to find a competitor in the whole world!’When Pingzhi Lin stopped in front of the eatery, with nobody attending to him, he saw a girl, who was in black dress and wearing two knobs on her head fixed by wooden hair-pins, stand right beside the fireplace facing inside and minding only the wine on the fire.‘Old Cai? Come and take the horse!’ called Zheng. Baier and Chenqi pulled out the bench and cleaned it with their sleeves so that Pingzhi Lin could sit. Shi and Zheng sat at the same table with Pingzhi Lin, while Baier and Chenqi took another one. With a cough, an old man came out, and in a northern accent he said,‘Please be seated, Gentlemen. Do you want wine?’Zheng replied,‘What do you think? TEA? Bring some Bamboo Green here. Where has the Old Cai gone? What?! A new boss?’ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 那老人道：“是，是，宛儿，打三斤竹叶青。不瞒众位客官说，小老儿姓萨，原是本地人氏，自幼在外做生意，儿子媳妇都死了，心想树高千丈，叶落归根，这才带了这孙女儿回故乡来。哪知道离家四十多年，家乡的亲戚朋友一个都不在了。刚好这家酒店的老蔡不想干了，三十两银子卖了给小老儿。唉，总算回到故乡啦，听着人人说这家乡话，心里就说不出的受用，惭愧得紧，小老儿自己可都不会说啦。”那青衣少女低头托着一只木盘，在林平之等人面前放了杯筷，将三壶酒放在桌上，又低着头走了开去，始终不敢向客人瞧上一眼。林平之见这少女身形婀娜，肤色却黑黝黝地甚是粗糙，脸上似有不少痘瘢，容貌甚丑，想是她初做这卖酒勾当，举止甚是生硬，当下也不在意。 ‘Sure, sure! Waner, Bamboo Green!’the old man told the girl beside the fireplace, then continued, ‘To tell every gentleman the truth, my name is Sa. I was born here, then left to do business when I was very young. Now my son and daughter-in-law all died. As the old saying goes, trees with hundreds of feet height will finally have their leaves rotten to the roots. I now bring my grand-daughter back, but after forty years’away I found the relatives all gone. It happened that Old Cai was thinking of ending his business, so he sold this eatery to me with thirty Liang (ancient monetary unit). Oh, eventually back home! It’s more than satisfied to hear people talking in the local accent, but embarrassingly I can not even say a single word now!’The girl brought the wine and tableware with a wooden tray, and laid them down on the table, head lowered, not laying an eye on the customers. To Pingzhi Lin, she appeared to be very ugly, even though with a gorgeous figure but a rough and dark skin, and pimples on her face. Considering this and also it might be the girls first time to serve, Pingzhi Lin didn't mind. |
| 文章作者 Becky2007 于 2007-9-4 17:49:35 |
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RE: 一直有股冲动想翻金庸的小说，但没胆儿。 今天终于鼓起勇气了，希望大家多多支持，权当娱乐一下。 ps：翻译真不好干。就这么一小段花了我大把时间。 |
| 文章作者 川西 于 2007-9-5 19:45:36 |
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RE: Willow branches warm in breeze; people drunk for the fragrance of flowers －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－ 你干不了翻译这个活。这第一句话里所有谓语都是错的，词性，主动被动什么的问题一大堆。按照中文说，就是句子文理不通。 不要勉强自己做那些力有不逮的事情。 ---------------------------------------- 自由译员 学士：清华大学化学系 硕士：国立新加坡大学化工系 硕士：俄亥俄州立大学食品工程系 MSN： michaelliu111@hotmail.com |
| 文章作者 Becky2007 于 2007-9-6 15:31:11 |
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RE: 谢谢，川西！终于有人肯赏脸回一句了。 我还以为就那两句翻译得像个样子呢！：P 少动词，新闻标题里很常见啊。 比起真正的“大家”，我还差得太远。只是觉得翻着好玩。而且想抛块砖头出来。到见到高人时，坚决封笔！ |
| 文章作者 htc 于 2007-9-6 16:41:05 |
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RE: 别封笔啊！尽力望好里改就是。按你所说不过是娱乐和学习交流而已，又不是说自己翻得多么好！ “Willow branches warm in breeze; people drunk for the fragrance of flowers--It’s the ...”中前面两部分可以看作短语，例如“独立结构”之类，后面又有破折号，加之属于文学类，行文上也说得过去。当然这只是从文法上说，不涉及译文质量。 ---------------------------------------- .................................... Some learning shows the need for more |
| 文章作者 Becky2007 于 2007-9-8 9:18:26 |
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RE: "Proudly Stand Out in A Jianghu World" it just came to me this morning on the subway, a little bit long, but it's my best shot and favourite for now cheers! ps. thanks to those who are still supporting this post |
| 文章作者 htc 于 2007-9-8 15:38:35 |
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RE: "Brave the Jianghu World with Pride"? Or "Brave the World of Jianghu with Pride"? ---------------------------------------- .................................... Some learning shows the need for more |
| 文章作者 Becky2007 于 2007-9-8 20:59:42 |
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RE: 1。standing tall among peers 2。Laughing Proud Warrior 3。The Legendary Swordsman 4。The Swordsman 5。Topping the Industry 6。enjoy the carefree and unrestrained life of a wanderer 7。Cheerful rangers of adventure google出来的一些译法（不算侵权吧？）。看看能不能给大家些灵感。 brave the... 有种“闯荡”的感觉。--- 一点个人意见。 |
| 文章作者 qingming 于 2007-9-14 18:19:37 |
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RE: 和风熏柳，花香醉人 Breeze embracing willow, and flower fragrance cherishing persons >>>>>>LZ是离得太远，和老顽童胡译没有差别 ---------------------------------------- http://oxgold.blog.sohu.com/ 声花之习胜，不是个好士子；名位之念重，不是个好臣工 |
| 文章作者 qingming 于 2007-9-14 18:23:43 |
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RE: 我觉得翻译一开始不要啃这些骨头：而是要把教材拿来背熟，再收集些对照的翻译文章揣摩，再看看论坛上的“老手”发的帖子。“整”过10-20年，再去考虑啃这些骨头 ---------------------------------------- http://oxgold.blog.sohu.com/ 声花之习胜，不是个好士子；名位之念重，不是个好臣工 |
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